When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
