im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize