Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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