i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
