The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
