Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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