found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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