There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
