i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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