I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
