You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
there is glitter all over my balls
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
