Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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