Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
