Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize