I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
