I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
