O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
