kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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