You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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