Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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