Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
