There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
