Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
