I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize