i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
