you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
