So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
