We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
