My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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