Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
