why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
