wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize