who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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