Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
