had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
