Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize