i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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