Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
