How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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