how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
