Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
