The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
