apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
