Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
