We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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