If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
