I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
