I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
