This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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