he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
