i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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