Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize