I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
