i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
