"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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