the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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