just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
