he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
