did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
