oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
