Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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