put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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