I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.