I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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