I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.