I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im six kinds of drunk right now
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices