I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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