As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
