I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
