But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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