how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize