i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
