im drinking this country out of the recession.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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