do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
